Don’t Grow Weary In Doing Good.
Galatians 6:9 (NIV UK)
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
In this season of my life God has brought me back to exactly where I started to lose my faith and trust in Him. I used to think that I lost my faith a lot further along the line than I actually did. But only a few days ago I started to really think and I realised that I actually lost my way with God within growing weary in doing good and not when I was “really sinning / doing the big sins”.
The Downfall Of Queen Vashti – Dephne Madyara.
This video broke down Queen Vashti’s fall from being the Queen and it tied in perfectly with what I am writing about. Her fall happened long before she even refused the King’s request for her to appear in front of the banquet guests.
Some of the things that had been playing over in my mind were; honour your father and mother, accounting for my life when judgement day comes, peer pressure, bad influences just to name the things I do remember. When I thought about all of these things a common thread was doing the right thing. Honouring your mother and father is not about respecting what they say or do or obeying everything it is about doing what is right regardless of all the wrongs. When time comes to account for my life, I will have to tell God what I did with it and I will have to explain why I didn’t do the right thing when I was supposed to. Within peer pressure and bad influence we sometimes find ourselves doing the wrong thing in order for us to fit in or be accepted by those around us.
With all these things running through my mind I thought about my life, what I had done wrong and why. And I found reasons to justify my behaviour but it didn’t make it right. I had lost my character in doing what I thought was right and I was justified to do. The good character traits that God had blessed me with had all been chipped away thanks to me deciding to stop doing right because “I was being treated unfairly.”
Something that I haven’t talked about on here is my state of joblessness, I have thought about sharing but I felt shame about posting about it so I have avoided it at all costs. But here goes. Last year I finally found a job relating to my degree and I was so thankful to God for this door opening up for me. I had prayed a lot about this. I had a lot of negative emotions mixed up within the thankfulness. Those emotions were; this will look good on LinkedIn, people will be shocked that I’m in a degree related job, all the people who looked down upon me can’t do that anymore, etc. BUT what I failed to recognise in these emotions was the trap that the devil had set up for me.
I didn’t have a character that was good for being in any role; related to my blessings, desires, calling or otherwise. My mind was stuck in I am a good person / I deserve land, when in actuality I was the opposite of deserving. I had a lot of things within me; pride, deserving, stuck up-ness? that were only leading me towards failure. I left the role for many reasons including, in/convenience lack of character and delusions. (topic for another day.)
Side note; I will say this, recognising ill treatment and not being treated the way that you should be regarding your talents, what you do etc. does not mean that you are stuck up or you think highly of yourself it just means that you recognise an issue. Where you fall into the devils trap is by quitting something that will lead to your blessing or where God wants you to be placed because you are not being recognised.
When I left at first I was OK, didn’t doubt my decision but then after a few months doubts started to kick in. Did I do the right thing? Why did I let pride and delusions tell me to quit? BUT within all of this God was still there. He used what I did for good. I can remember praying and asking God if I should stay or go before I took the leap to leave and I felt nothing. Since then, battling with the doubts and wondering if I would have been in a better position if I had stayed I started to question my decision and had convinced myself that God wanted me to stay. BUT now I look back and I look at where I am now I can see that God would have used my previous role to build my character just as He is using where I am now to build my character.
I believe now that God bringing me back to where I started to lose my character is a way for God to show me that He is starting again with me. I have watched / read people speaking about how God kept them or sent them back to jobs, people etc. because He didn’t tell them to quit or leave because it was all about building their character. God wanted to teach them valuable lessons that would help them out in the next season of their life. My mind for a while started thinking I should maybe go back to that job because God didn’t tell me to quit but peace would come over me about staying where I am because God is teaching me what I need to learn in this season before He allows me to go out there into the world representing Him and all the other members of the Christian family.
My experience has shown me that the devil will always be there telling you that you are being treated unfairly not because He feels for you and wants the best for you but because he is setting you up to fail. Like I said above, yes we will be treated unfairly in life, when this is happening we need to go to God and not our feelings. “I deserve,” only leads to growing weary in doing good and then stepping out or being rebellious towards where God has you. The consequences of being rebellious and giving up on doing good are not worth losing out on the blessings of staying and fighting through the ill treatment.
*Obviously I am not speaking about people who are being abused in any shape or form. If you are being abused then you need to speak up and get help to get out. Find organisations within your community or outside of it that will help you out.