“God Have All Of Me, But Not That Bit.”
Isaiah 41:10 (NIVUK)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
God recently showed me that I was / am clinging onto things and have not let them go for Him to take over and heal or move my life forward. My salvation story involved me saying the words “God, you are in control, I obviously don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” The months after I said these words were so amazing. I actually felt a change in my life. I started to move forward and the crippling fears about my life amounting to nothing went away as if they were never there to begin with. God continued to open doors, speak to me, teach me valuable lessons and help me to heal different areas of my life.
But recently when God showed me that I hadn’t actually given Him control over all of my life, it took me a long time to actually acknowledge that I was holding onto some things. I credited my funk that I have written about to so many other things but didn’t think it had anything to do with me holding onto the past or not obeying God in this area.
God showed me that I hadn’t obeyed Him when it came to church. I have church hurt from the past and I found myself not letting this go and saying to God, “I will go to a church when you find the right place for me.” Even though God had found a church for me. I spent a lot of time fighting myself and God, I was telling myself that it was the right thing to do, to not commit to a church because it’s wrong to keep picking up and leaving churches just because they don’t suit my needs.
I didn’t realise how selfish I was being when I didn’t hand this pain over to God, I thought I was doing the right thing. In reality I was holding onto control that I had supposedly given over to God. I couldn’t see that I hadn’t let go of something important until it was too late and God stopped pressing the issue into my heart or better yet I stopped listening to God about the issue.
I watched a bible study held by Heather Lindsey in which she spoke about letting go of things and understanding the purpose of those things. This session helped me to understand my own past a little bit more. I was and am holding onto things good and bad and not letting them go for varying reasons. I thought that letting go of my church hurt in my time when I am healed from other things is the better course of action when in reality I need to let go of everything not just to receive from God but to move forward with my life.
When I handed God control over my life and dreams before, he gave me so much more than I ever expected and this was a result of letting go.
But the most important lesson from letting go was the healing it brought into my life. I healed more of my life by letting go immediately. When I look at the after effects of not letting go of my church hurt it caused more pain to come into my life and it has stopped me from being able to benefit from having and building an important relationship with a church and building Godly friendships.
Learning to submit to God and give Him all of the things that I am holding onto good and bad is a more effective course of action in my life. I need to remember that God knows more than I know. I could be holding onto a dream that God placed there in the first place but I am holding onto it with a human imagination and not God’s imagination. Whenever I have something in my life that is taking over my thoughts and actions, I need to submit it to God, if I don’t I will end up trying to tackle it in my own strength and not actually moving forward.
What are you holding onto today that God keeps asking you to let go of? Give it to God His timing is perfect, what he has in store for you is much better than what you could ever imagine.