Stop Comparing Yourself.
Getting to the root of Jealousy & Envy.
Psalm 139:14 (NIV UK)
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
*Image from – Pinterest*
“If you find yourself looking at someone’s social media and saying;
Who does she think she is? She’s not even that cute, She only has that (life) because… then my friend You’re JEALOUS!” (I have changed the words to apply to what I’ve said in the past.)
“Jealousy is a form of hatred, built upon insecurity.” -unknown
“In the past I have been accused of jealousy when I was not close to jealous,” but hearing these words so clearly I look at my relationship with people I know, knew and random people on social media and I’ve found myself saying the above phrases and more and I realise when I was and wasn’t jealous of people. I am also now gaining a bit more of an understanding about what jealousy is and how it show its ugly head in my life.
How does jealousy get into our lives? Through Comparison. I have listened to the devils lies about my life and then I have pursued ungodly things that have then caused bigger problems than I had faced before.
*Image from – Pinterest*
We listen to the devils lies and then we start to spend too much time looking at other people’s lives (people who we don’t even like) and we compare ourselves to “them.” We look at they’re progress in life, and we look at where we currently are and we start to feel like failures and then the devil starts to give us ideas about how we can get to the same level as them. We live in a society that tells men and women “if you haven’t achieved certain things at varying points in life you have failed.” We live with this lie and it’s applied to education, careers and even relationships.
1 John 2:16 (NIV UK)
16 For everything in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – comes not from the Father but from the world.
For sometime in my life I felt like I was only going to be a failure and never amount to anything in life. I thought that because of my limitations in certain areas I would only ever struggle and not have a successful life or career that fulfilled my wants and needs. I allowed certain societal lies to dictate my journey in life and it led me down some roads that I never, ever wanted to go down.
BUT this past year God has shown me that with Him I am not a failure and that I can succeed and surpass my expectations in relation to my life and career.
Exodus 20:17 (NIV UK)
17 ‘You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.’
Social media is probably the best and worst thing to happen in our lifetime. We spend hours scrolling through Instagram accounts and then at the end of it we feel like failures, our lives in comparison do not measure up. Something we all forget is that seeing an edited image or the one that looked the best does not mean that we see every single thing that a person is doing to get that perfect image.
We do not see the late hours at work, the sacrificing in one area for another area, We do not know what someone else is doing to gain the life they’re living. There is a whole other post I could write about looking at the image that people choose to share with you and what’s actually happening in their real lives. I am guilty of allowing envy and jealousy to cause my mouth and fingers to move in a negative way. I have said “she only has that because of who she’s sleeping with,” when in reality I was choosing to ignore the persons hard work ethic (good or bad.)
I was focusing so hard on the edited image that I allowed myself to feel envy and jealousy and I used those negative emotions to conjure up lies to justify those negative thoughts.
Psalm 41:6 (NIV UK)
6 When one of them comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it around.
Whilst I was writing on a different topic I had these thoughts; “who are you following on social media?” “what are your likes doing to someone else’s discovery page?” “how is that person you’re following and liking affecting your emotions and walk with God?” Knowing exactly who you follow on social media and why will help you start to eradicate some of those emotions from your life. Going through your social media and looking at every single person you follow and asking yourself why you follow them is a great starting point. There are plenty of people who as a Christian you shouldn’t be following anyway! I am not even naming any names but you all know who I’m talking about.
*Image from – Pinterest*
When I’m on Insta now, I try to say one good thing about the image I’m looking at. “Bless them don’t curse them.” There is so much power in blessing someone and not cursing them. Before long you’re so used to saying good things about them that you forget to even look on their page, you’re no longer jealous and you’re focused on your life and the blessings that God has for you.
*Images from – Pinterest*
But there’s a flip side to this. If someone has seriously hurt you in the past and you’re looking at their social media wondering why and how they live a good life even after they hurt you so badly. My advice is block them on all the platforms you use. Jealousy works differently when we know and have been negatively affected by the person. We get jealous, wallow in misery and even fall into depression, I say this because I have been there. I have looked at people who have hurt my future and have felt angry and jealous towards their current success. But in all of this I wasn’t progressing in my life, I was stuck in misery and in this I was so focused on my own pain to the point where I forgot about the pain that I caused and continued to cause in other people’s lives.
My advice is to;
1:Block them! & Heal your Heart, Unblock them at a later time,
2: Forgive them! Pray lord I forgive them and I ask you to forgive me on their behalf.
3: Bless them, don’t curse them! Pray blessings into their life every time you think ” I want them to fail like I am” “I want someone to see through their lies” you know your mind and what you’ve said about people.
James 4:2 (NIVUK)
2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
Stop Comparing Yourself!! – Allyson M Rowe
Bible verses and lessons about Jealousy and Envy! Available at Bible Reasons.